


Brothers in science do not make us the same

by WritingStag



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I will continue to hurt Holtz, I'm beyond saying im sorry, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:45:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7827322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingStag/pseuds/WritingStag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holtz has disturbing thoughts that won't stop bothering her after stopping Rowan, and she never really has time to slow down and cope with all her emotions before she has to save New York city. Thankfully Erin is a little less emotionally stunted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brothers in science do not make us the same

**Author's Note:**

> Why, Stag, do you ever plan on stopping? No, Im going to keep hurting Holtz and making Erin fix her. As always, constantly expect more for me :) you can send requests, prompts and or just chat with me on my tumblr, coffeeskater.tumblr.com

You stare intently at the proton packs, Rowans words floating in your head.  ‘you must have been afforded basic human decency!’ you chewed your lip, biting hard enough it bleeds without you noticing. ‘I was bullied my entire life-‘ How badly you had wanted to shout at him ‘so was I and I didn’t end up like you!’ It bothered you, how similar you are, were? The tech was almost the same, the theories and technical aspect handled by Erin and Abby but built by two different people with two different intentions. Yet you weren’t that different. The team didn’t say so but you knew it was true. You’d instantly understood the machine Rowan had built, been able to shut it off with ease. How different could you really be?

Your jerked out of your thoughts, quite literally as Erin pulls your face towards her, soft hands cupping your cheeks and frowning. She was saying something; you could see her mouth moving but it took another 10 or so seconds to to actually hear her. “- Bleeding, you need to be more careful.”

“We’re the same person Erin.” The words slip out without really wanting them to and Erin gives you a strange look.

“We have physics in common and ghost hunting but I don’t think that makes us the same person.” You shake your head, effectively breaking free of Erin’s gentle hold.

“No, Rowan and I.”  Erin makes a face and she mouths, like a fish out of water, but nothing comes out. You shrug and pick up a pair of tweezers and begin fiddling with the proton pack in front of you. You need more power, It’s not weak and tragically disappointing like the cart prototype but it could be stronger and maybe you can find a way to stop the beams from leaving scorch marks. Maybe If- once again your train of thought is derailed by Erin.

Her face is hard and unreadable and fear sparks briefly in your stomach. It’s squashed almost instantly when she rubs her thumbs along your cheeks and looks you dead in the eyes, a privilege that most people have to spend months earning and says “Holtzmann, you look at me and you listen to me. You are nothing like Rowan, nothing. The only thing you had in common with him is being smart, and frankly, there’s a lot of other geniuses out there but that doesn’t make you like them.” Her voice is steady and strong, leaving no room for argument. She nods and then dabs at your chin, cleaning away the small dribble of blood from your lip before gently, so gently dabbing at your split lip. The hand not currently dabbing holds your jaw, thumb stroking and her grey eyes are focused entirely on you and making you better. Normally you’d squirm and shy away from being looked at this intensely but for some reason it doesn’t bother you.  When she’s done her fingers trail across your lips and even Erin seems to be caught in the same trance you are.  You’re not sure but you think you kiss her finger tips.  The moment lingers a second longer and then Erin is pulling away as Abby walks in, asking Erin for help with something. You don’t hear her finish speaking and your mind is already a million miles away.

With Erin’s touch lingering you can ignore the small voice saying you’re still the same person. you step on it and grind it into dust. You and Rowan might both be brilliant but you’re not like him. You didn’t let the teasing and the bullying get to you. You might have been stuffed in lockers only to have the janitor let you out hours later. You’d had to limp home, clutching your arm as blood oozed sluggishly from the cuts because the football team had wanted to teach the school dyke a lesson, a lesson involving wedgies, a tank of jello that stained your shirt and hair a bright blue and a vicious dog, a Chihuahua maybe.  You’d had to learn to cook and look after yourself at only 12 because your parents were never around and if they were they were just as bad as the bullies at school. You’d never had a friend up until Abby and yet you never once considered destroying the world in revenge. You glance up at Erin, playing with a whiteboard marker and talking animatedly to Abby and you smile. Because Erin was right, you are nothing like Rowan.

~

It’s a sick twist of fate really that you can’t seem to escape Rowan. He possesses Abby and she, he… they chuck you around like a rag doll. When they first throw you, you hit the hardwood floor and your head whacks on the floor so hard you see stars. You struggle to take a breath in and you barely get the air in your lungs before Abby/Rowan is grabbing you by the throat and dropping you out the window.  All you can do is scream as tears stream down your face. Patty pulls you in and saves your life, slapping Rowan out of Abby as you lay choking and grasping at your throat, crying and trying to get yourself to breath.

You have no time to process, before he possesses Kevin and he’s roaring away on the motorcycle and you have to get up and gear up to save the world.  The trauma stays with you the entire day but your so busy saving the world and busting ghosts and you can ignore it pretty effectively. When it’s all said and done you go home to the restaurant and your too tired to go home. Erin is too jacked up on adrenaline and unlike Abby and patty, wants to keep working. You burrow into your blanket nest under your desk and let her work. Your asleep within the first 5 minutes.

~

You wake up screaming and kicking. Terrified, you can still feel Abby’s cold fingers, gripped tight around your throat and squeezing your life away. You remembered dangling from the window and being so afraid that you’d be the second person to die from falling out that window.  You’re crying, sobbing hysterically as you sit up and begin to rock yourself to try and sooth yourself like you have your entire life but the icy fingers of death are still tight around your brightly bruised neck and you can’t calm down.

You get even more scared when lean arms gather you up in a warm hold and you scream because your terrified of being touched but you can hear Erin hushing you, telling you’re okay and for some reason, because Erin almost died today too, you believe her and you fall apart completely in her arms. She gathers you into her lap and holds you so tight it would almost be painful but it feels good and safe. Her lips press into your temple and she kisses you there and drifts down to your cheek and your forehead and your vaguely aware that her face is wet. She rocks back and forth and you cling to her with all your strength.

Hours later, once you’re calm Erin eases away just enough to tips your face up to hers and wipes the remaining tears off your face. She smiles weakly and it becomes obvious she was crying too. “You cried.” You rasp. It sounds stupid stating the obvious but you don’t think you can really manage anything more than 3 word sentences. Erin rubs at her cheeks.

“Uh, yeah.” Her voice falls flat and you supposed you’d be embarrassed right now but your just too tired and drained.

“Because of me?”

Erin blushes, her cheeks just turning a little pink. “I was scared. You woke up screaming you didn’t seem to hear me and you just screamed louder when I touched you but I didn’t know what else to do…”

“Sorry for scaring you.”

Erin shakes her head vehemently. “No, don’t apologize.”

You realize, belatedly that you’re still in her lap and she’s still cradling you like you’re precious treasure. You don’t mind though and you don’t want to leave her hold. Her eyes widen and you know she’s finally noticed the bruise on your throat. She gasps and makes like she wants to touch it but stops herself. You have no real control over yourself when you take her hand and press it against the bruise. You wonder if she can feel your heart beating there because it certainly moved from your chest to your throat. 

Her long elegant fingers trace the bruise, her touch feather light. Her eyes flick to your and you have to look away. “What happened?” She whispers.

“Abby was possessed and dangled me out the window.”

“By your throat!?” Her eyes widen and you can’t bear to answer so you simply nod and tuck your face in her neck. “Oh Holtz…” The way she says your name makes you feel all sorts of things but you choose to ignore them. There’s a long pause before she asks her next question, voice barely a whisper. “Is that why you woke up screaming?”

“I don’t like heights.” Is all you offer in return. She holds you with renewed vigor.

“I’m so sorry.” You only shrug in response.  It goes quiet again and you rub at your face which feels dry and pinched from your tears drying.  

Erin tenses and you look up, her face is strange and unreadable. “You know it’s just hit me we both almost died today.” That makes you choke out a weak laugh. “And Monday you thought you were just like Rowan and yet you risked your life to stop him today.” She pauses to gather her thoughts. “You’re not like him….” She seems to be unable to speak for a moment. “I’d very much like to kiss you right now because I almost lost you today and you need to know how much value you have. But now’s not the right time.”

Normally you’d disagree, saying there’s no wrong time to kiss the girl you like but your inclined to agree with her because you want to kiss Erin too and she deserves better than this. “You can kiss my cheek.” You smile and even wink. It’s lacking your usual sauce but it makes Erin smile. She obliges you and presses a lingering kiss to your cheek.

Afterwards she pulls you to your feet and insist n bringing you home to sleep in a proper bed.  Her apartment isn’t far and you walk there hand in hand. You both change into something more comfortable, Erin in her usual pyjamas and you in a pair of sweats and a long sleeve, both too long for you. It matters little because you crawl in bed with Erin and naturally find yourself being her little spoon. Most people assume you prefer being the big spoon and their half right, it depends but tonight you’re more than happy to be held.

You wake the next morning to the smell of breakfast. You sit up and blink sleepily and as you do Erin shoulders the door open, two plates in her hands filled with breakfast.  “you made me breakfast in bed?” Erin smiles and sets the plate in your lap.

“I was hungry, it would be rude not to make you some as well.” Your heart swells and you look down at the plate in your lap, eggs, toast bacon and pancakes. Erin sits next to you and begins to eat. The meal passes in quiet, not because you have nothing to say, but because the silence is comfortable.

After breakfast you get up and help Erin clean the dishes. You chat and she makes you laugh and halfway through the dishes the sun strikes the side of her face and her hair lights up. Your only half aware that your almost elbow deep in soapy water  but you cant stop yourself from reaching out and pulling her into a hug, soap bubbles ending up smeared all over Erins back as you hug her. She giggles, actually giggles.

“Hello there.” You squeeze her tight and she giggles again.

“Is now an appropriate time to kiss you?” Erin sobers and you realize that you have to tilt your head up slightly to meet her eyes. Her breath catches and you grin, finally feeling fully like yourself again. Erin blushes and you think she look gorgeous, soap bubbles smeared across her back and some on her shoulders, her cheeks bright pink and her hair alight with the sun.

“Now is appropriate…” She mumbles, her blush reaching her ears. You don’t hesitate, cupping her cheeks and kissing her. Erin’s lips are soft and she kisses you back enthusiastically. You never want to stop kissing her. You tilt your head and part her lips with yours and she sighs into your mouth. You part and it takes Erin five full seconds for her eyes to open and she does so to see you grinning so widely your face might split. She smiles back and you can’t stop yourself from kissing her again.

You forget all the hurt and all the carnage from the past week, Erins smile and her soft lips somehow erase it all.


End file.
